We've been going over and over, in our minds, all the things that one does when someone you love dies. I think if it's someone you didn't love the whole dynamic becomes different! Gee, I really wish I'd told that so and so what I really thought!!!!
The would haves/should haves/could haves that keep going through your mind, even though, at this point, it's all far too late. Nothing can be changed. I guess we can hope to learn from these experiences so that we might do better in future ones...or, being human, we'll repeat the same dumb mistakes, over and over, not able to learn a darn thing.
If we'd only...
Dad said he'd never go home from the hospital. Of course, he said it the last time too and he did go home, for over a year. Maybe he felt he had to prove something this time---See, I told you I was sick!! We know we did the best we could but we feel that our best should have been a lot better. I know there are so many who are a member of this club, and many under much more difficult circumstances. Just venting, this blog is a great venue for this. I have no idea who might read it so I can just talk to the air. Sort of like talking to god...
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